Lessons

Haste Is Waste.
A junior manager, a senior manager and
their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come
across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each."

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff, and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35 pm."

Moral of the story is:

Lesson I - Always allow the bosses to speak first.

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Boss Knows Everything??

Standing in front of a shredder with a
piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the
paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his
paper disappeared inside the shredder machine.

"I just need one copy."

Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

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Ese & Key
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"

The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled,
"What kind of -ese are you .......
Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc.......??? "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked: What kind of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankey,
donkey, or monkey?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

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Americans Love To Say .... Every Now And Then.

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle.
When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle.

He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE."
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and
shouted, "BEER." He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American.
He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!. ........."

Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents do happen.

Doktor Pengangguran Ditolak Jadi Penyapu Jalan

SEOUL -- Krisis ekonomi yang memburuk telah memaksa seorang ilmuwan pengangguran di Korea Selatan untuk melamar jadi tukang sapu jalan pada Selasa lalu. Lamarannya ditolak.
Pemerintah Daerah Gangseo di Seoul membuka lowongan bagi lima pegawai untuk membersihkan jalanan di salah satu kawasan terpadat di ibu kota Korea itu.
Kim, ilmuwan bergelar doktor bidang fisika, menjadi satu dari 63 orang yang melamar. Sebelas orang di antara para pelamar itu adalah lulusan universitas. Tapi, para sarjana itu akhirnya tahu bahwa tenaga telah mengalahkan otak.
Para pelamar itu diuji dengan membawa dua kantong pasir, masing-masing seberat 20 kilogram, di bahunya dan kemudian dilempar--sebuah simulasi membopong kantong sampah dan membuangnya. Tugas itu dilakukan dengan bolak-balik sejauh 25 meter.
Menurut Chung Young-ik, pejabat pemerintah yang bertugas dalam perekrutan itu, Kim lebih lambat tiga detik dibanding pelamar pesaingnya, sehingga dia dinyatakan tak lulus ujian.
"Saya telah membuat rekor yang buruk," kata Kim kepada wartawan.
Pemerintah Gangseo mengatakan rata-rata 12,6 orang bersaing untuk merebut setiap "kursi tukang sapu" pada tahun ini. Sedangkan tahun lalu satu "kursi" diperebutkan oleh delapan orang.
Menjadi tukang sapu jalan di sana sebenarnya cukup menarik. Mereka rata-rata mendapat gaji awal 33 juta won atau sekitar Rp 275 juta. Menurut Chung, nilai ini lebih besar daripada pendapatan sarjana baru yang bekerja di perusahaan besar. Jadi tukang sapu juga sangat aman karena mereka boleh bekerja hingga berusia 60 tahun.
Perekonomian Korea memang sedang goyah. Negeri Gingseng itu hanya menciptakan 78 ribu lapangan pekerjaan pada November, turun dari 97 ribu pada bulan sebelumnya.
Menurut Kantor Statistik Nasional Korea, angka pengangguran mencapai 3,3 persen pada Desember lalu, naik dari 3,1 persen pada November dan 3 persen pada Oktober tahun lalu.
Pemerintahan Presiden Lee Myung-bak menjadikan peningkatan lapangan kerja sebagai prioritas. AFP | AP | IWANK